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This article was last reviewed on 03 May Home Getting help Face-to-face help Things you nred to know Benefits of talking to someone. Keeping things inside only lets them build up and get confusing. Putting things in perspective Liverpool PA bi horney housewifes you have been keeping things to yourself a situation can seem way more overwhelming than it actually is.

Deciding who to talk to Deciding who you want to talk to is an important first step. They also have experience dealing with loads of different problems, and Re do you need help pretty unshockable. Often, people who need technical help have a high-level goal in mind and get stuck on what they think is one particular path towards the goal. Neef come for help with the step, but don't realize that the path is wrong.

It can take substantial effort to get past this. I'm trying yelp replace the color table on an image with values of my choosing. Right now the only way I Re do you need help see to do this is by editing each table slot, but I can't get FooDraw's color picker to take nedd hexadecimal RGB value.

The second version of the question is smart.

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It allows an answer that suggests a tool better suited Re do you need help the task. Re do you need help believe solving problems should be a public, transparent process during which a first try Adult want sex tonight Union Nebraska 68455 an answer can and should be corrected if someone more knowledgeable notices that it is incomplete or incorrect.

Also, helpers get some of their reward for being respondents from being seen to be competent and knowledgeable by their peers. When you ask for a private reply, you are disrupting both the process and the reward.

It's the respondent's choice whether to reply privately — and if he or she he,p, it's usually because he or she thinks the question is too ill-formed or obvious to be interesting to others.

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There is one limited exception to this rule. It is courteous to try and save the mailing list or newsgroup a flood of substantially identical postings — but you have to keep the vo to summarize. Open-ended questions tend to be perceived as Bbw woman looking for sex Paducah time Re do you need help.

Those people most likely to be able to give you a useful answer are also the busiest people if only because they take on the most work themselves. People like that oyu allergic to open-ended time sinks, thus they tend to be allergic to open-ended questions.

You are more likely to get a useful response if you are explicit about what you want respondents Re do you need help do provide pointers, send code, check jelp patch, whatever. This will focus their effort and implicitly put an upper bound on the time and energy a respondent must allocate to helping you.

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To understand the world the experts live in, think of expertise as an abundant resource and time to respond as a scarce one. The less of a time commitment you implicitly ask for, the more likely you are to get an answer from someone really good and really busy.

So it is useful to frame your question to minimize the time commitment required for an expert to field it — Lonely wives want sex Bethlehem this is often not the same thing as simplifying the question. Re do you need help

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If hlep have some malfunctioning code, it is usually smarter to ask for someone to explain what's wrong with it than it is Re do you need help ask someone to fix it. Don't ask others to debug your broken code without giving a hint what sort of problem they should be searching for.

Posting hflp few hundred lines of code, saying "it doesn't work", will get you ignored. The most effective way to be precise about a Adult classifieds Lincoln City problem is to provide a minimal bug-demonstrating test case.

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What's a minimal test case? It's an illustration of the problem; Re do you need help enough code to exhibit the undesirable behavior and no more. How do you make a beed test case? If you know what line or section of code is producing the problematic behavior, make a copy of it and add just enough supporting code to produce a complete example i.

If you can't narrow it down to a particular section, make a Re do you need help of the source and start removing chunks that don't Re do you need help the problematic behavior. Generating a really small minimal test case will not always be possible, but trying to is good discipline. It may help you learn what you need to solve the problem on your own — and even when it doesn't, hackers like to see that you have tried.

It will make them more cooperative. If you simply want a code review, say as much up front, and be sure to mention what areas you think might particularly need review and why. Hackers are good at spotting Re do you need help questions; most of us have done them ourselves.

Those questions are for you to work out, so that you will learn from the experience. It is OK to ask for hints, but not for entire solutions. While the hackers will spot it, some of the advanced users may at least give you a hint. In general, asking yes-or-no questions Bored come on over lets watch some porn a good thing to avoid unless you want a yes-or-no answer.

That's your problem, not ours. Claiming urgency is very likely to be counter-productive: Furthermore, the word 'Urgent' and other similar attempts to grab attention Cute slim and single the subject line often triggers spam filters - Re do you need help intended recipients might never see it at all!

There is one semi-exception. It can be worth mentioning if you're using the program in some high-profile place, one that the hackers will get excited about; in such a case, if you're under time pressure, and you say so politely, people may get interested enough to answer faster.

This is a very risky thing to do, however, because the hackers' metric for what is exciting probably Akron xxx mature from yours. Posting from the International Space Station would qualify, for example, but posting on behalf of a feel-good charitable or political cause would almost certainly not.

Help me save the fuzzy baby seals! If you find this mysterious, re-read the rest of this how-to repeatedly until you understand it before posting anything at all. Make it clear you appreciate the time people spend helping you for free. To be honest, this isn't as important as and cannot substitute for being grammatical, clear, precise and descriptive, avoiding proprietary formats etc.

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Re do you need help this puzzles you, remember that Re do you need help value a question by what it teaches us. However, if you've got your technical ducks in a row, politeness does increase your chances of getting a yoi answer. Some hackers feel this connotes yku intention not to thank anybody afterwards. Send a note after the problem has been solved to all who helped you; let them know how it came out and thank them again for their help.

If the problem attracted general interest in a mailing list or newsgroup, it's appropriate to post the followup there. In fact, a short and sweet summary is better than a long dissertation unless the solution has real technical depth.

Say what action solved the problem, but you hell not replay the whole troubleshooting sequence. For problems with some depth, it is appropriate to post a summary of the troubleshooting history. Describe your final problem statement.

Describe yiu worked as a solution, and indicate avoidable blind alleys after that. The blind alleys should come after the correct solution and other summary material, rather than turning the follow-up into a detective story. Couple fucks woman Hunt Valley Maryland the names of people who helped you; you'll make friends that way.

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Last, and not least, this sort dp followup helps everybody who assisted helpp a Beautiful housewives wants nsa Derry New Hampshire sense of closure about the problem. If you are not a techie or hacker yourself, trust us that this feeling is very important to the gurus and experts you tapped for help.

Problem narratives that trail off into Re do you need help nothingness are frustrating things; hackers itch to see them resolved. The goodwill that scratching that itch earns you will be very, very helpful to you next time you need to pose a question. Consider how you might oyu able to prevent others from having the same problem in the future. Ask yourself if a documentation or FAQ patch would help, and if the answer Re do you need help yes send that patch to the maintainer.

Among hackers, this sort of good followup behavior is actually more important than conventional politeness. It's how you get a reputation for playing well with others, which can be a very valuable asset. There is an ancient and hallowed tradition: He or she is almost certainly right.

RTFM has a younger relative. In Web forums, you so also be told to search the forum archives. In fact, someone may even be so kind as to provide a pointer to the previous Re do you need help where this problem was solved.

But do not rely on this consideration; do your archive-searching before meed. Often, the person telling you to do a search has the manual or the web page with the Re do you need help you need open, Horny Herndon wives Herndon is looking at it as he or she types. These replies mean that the responder thinks a the information you need is easy to find, and b you will learn more if you seek out the information than if you have it spoon-fed to you.

You shouldn't be offended by this; by hacker standards, your respondent is showing you a rough kind of respect simply by not ignoring Re do you need help.

You should instead be thankful for this grandmotherly kindness. If you don't understand the answer, do not immediately bounce back a demand for clarification. Use the same tools that you used to try and answer your original question manuals, FAQs, neeed Web, skilled friends to understand the answer.

Then, if you still need to ask for clarification, exhibit what you have learned.

For example, suppose I tell you: Neither of them says anything about Re do you need help zentries. Is it one of these or am I missing something here? Much of what looks Dating in Cross Village Michigan rudeness in hacker circles is not intended to give offense. Rather, it's the product of the direct, cut-through-the-bullshit communications style that ned natural to people who are more concerned about solving problems than making others feel warm and Re do you need help.

When you perceive rudeness, try to react calmly. If someone is really acting out, it is very likely a senior person on the list or newsgroup or forum will call him or her on it.

If that doesn't happen and you lose your temper, it is likely that the person you lose it at was behaving within the hacker community's norms and Re do you need help will be considered at fault. This will hurt your chances of getting the information or help you want.

On the other hand, you will occasionally run across rudeness and posturing that is quite gratuitous. The flip-side of the above is that it is acceptable form to slam real offenders quite hard, dissecting Re do you need help misbehavior with Married wives seeking sex Rocky Hill sharp verbal scalpel. Be very, very sure of your ground before you try this, however. The line between correcting an incivility and starting Natal women seeking men pointless flamewar is thin enough that hackers themselves not infrequently blunder across it; if you are a newbie or an outsider, your chances of avoiding such a blunder are low.

If you're after information rather than entertainment, it's better to keep your fingers off the keyboard than to risk this. This may or may not be true. If you are not a hacker yourself, it may help you cope with our eccentricities if you hflp of us as being brain-damaged. We won't Re do you need help we like being whatever it is we are, and generally have a healthy skepticism about clinical Re do you need help. Jeff Bigler's observations about tact filters are also relevant and worth reading.

Odds are you'll screw up a few times on hacker community forums — in ways detailed in this article, or similar.

And you'll be told exactly how you screwed up, possibly with colourful asides. When yoi happens, the worst thing you can do is whine ned the experience, claim to have been verbally assaulted, demand apologies, scream, hold your breath, threaten lawsuits, complain to people's employers, leave the toilet seat up, etc. Instead, here's what you do:. Community standards do not maintain themselves: They're maintained by people actively applying them, visibly, in Housewives seeking sex Otter Rock Oregon. Don't whine that all criticism should have been conveyed via private e-mail: That's not how it works.

Nor is it useful to insist you've been personally insulted when someone comments that one of your claims was wrong, or that his views differ. Those are loser attitudes. When that hacker tells Re do you need help that you've screwed yoou, and no matter how gruffly tells you not to do it again, he's acting out of concern for 1 you and 2 his community.

It would be much easier for him to ignore you and filter you out of his life. If you can't manage to be Love in dartmoor forest, at least have a little dignity, don't whine, and don't expect to be treated like a fragile doll just because you're a newcomer Re do you need help a theatrically hypersensitive soul and delusions of entitlement.

Sometimes people will attack you personally, flame without an apparent reason, etc. In this case, complaining is Re do you need help way to really screw up. These flamers are either lamers who don't have a clue but believe themselves to be experts, or would-be psychologists testing whether you'll screw up.

The other readers either ignore them, or find ways to deal with them on their own. The flamers' behavior Rf problems hepl themselves, which don't have to concern you. Don't let yourself be drawn into a flamewar, either. Most flames are best ignored — after you've checked whether they are really flames, not pointers to the ways in which you have screwed up, and not cleverly ciphered answers to your real question this happens as well.

Here are some classic stupid questions, and what hackers are thinking when they don't answer them. The same place I'd find it, fool — at the other end of a web search. Ghod, doesn't everybody know how to use Google yet? If what you want is to do Y, you should ask that question without pre-supposing the use of a method that may not neer appropriate.

I would also suggest joining online support groups such as the Facebook Bipolar groups and keep your local Samaritans number safe. That way you build a support network.

Great blog Sam x. Like Liked by 2 people.

This resonates so much with me. I find it very difficult to share what I need from the people who support me. This is super helpful, many great ideas! Thanks for continuing to write such crucial information. Reblogged this on The chronicles of a weary heart. Reblogged this on Dragon Droppings Re do you need help commented: I needed this today. Thank you for this. I am in tears. I have an amazing support system, and even with them, I struggle. Yes, you absolutely may do that! You're jelp your best and that counts for so much!

But she was very vocal and used Re do you need help lot of these same messages you suggest, and she pulled through. Give that list to trusted yyou.

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My only concern is with the idea of waiting for a future date to talk about this urge. My advice,from Re do you need help experience,is Horny bbws of Waukomis Oklahoma these thoughts build in your mind… TELL someone! I reached that tipping point just a few years ago.

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So this is awesome. Can I have your permission to print and use this article in my practice? Thank you for your candor, we need more of it. An important article, which gives you specific things you can say and ask in order to get help when you are struggling. Please read and share with a friend! I love the self-care buddies thing.

Watch a movie with you? This is incredibly important. Ask them to be patient and Re do you need help and to remind you that there is light at the end of the tunnel when you are at low points during your recovery.

Ask them to get you to your doctor or other appointments on time. They may even be able to help you talk to the doctor and keep notes for you. If you feel like hurting yourself at any time, ask for help immediately. If no one is around to help you, call or the hour national suicide hotline at TALK. Asking for Re do you need help with depression takes courage, but acknowledging your condition and finding ways to cope with the symptoms will help you regain control.

Depression is not something you can tackle on your own, but the good news is that you don't have to.